So You Need To Be A Football Fan For The Day
Your Guide to Surviving Super Bowl LII Parties
Everyone is a football fan on Super Bowl Sunday. It is one of the most beloved sporting spectacles this Country has right alongside the Kentucky Derby (horse racing) and March Madness (college basketball). Chances are someone you know, or someone you know who knows someone else will be hosting a Super Bowl party. An invitation is either already sent or coming soon to your inbox or group text. The Super Bowl is the game football fans wait for all year long; cheering and scorning their favorite teams chances to make it for 17 weeks. While this ideal may not be held high in your priority standings, come Sunday it needs to be.
So without further ado, it is crash course time!
Super Bowl LII (52) brings the dynasty that is the New England Patriots against the City of Brotherly Love’s Philadelphia Eagles. Media outlets everywhere are saying it is David (Eagles) VS Goliath(Patriots).
Will New England continue their incredible run of domination and repeat as Super Bowl Champions?
Can the Eagles call upon the heart and soul inside themselves like the famed fictional boxer and Philadelphia icon, Rocky Balboa, to upset the heavy favorites?
Who knows…if the Eagles win maybe Coach Doug Pederson will have a statue right alongside Rocky’s!
Want to drop some knowledge bombs at the party; here you go!
The Patriots are making their 8th Super Bowl appearance since 2002 and 10th appearance overall (NFL Record).
The Eagles will be making their 3rd appearance and have not been on the big stage since 2005 when they lost the Super Bowl to...That’s Right…the New England Patriots.
Nick Foles, the 2nd string quarterback for the Eagles, will face off against the “G.O.A.T.”.
No it is not the ferocious Billy the Biting Goat, the Patriots Mascot (I completely made that up).
A G.O.A.T. is The “Greatest Of All Time”, in this case the one and only Tom Brady. Brady will start in an NFL record 8th Super Bowl and already is the most winning QB in Super Bowl History with 5 victories.
The Patriots and Legendary Coach, Bill Belichick, can tie the Pittsburg Steelers at 6 Lombardi Trophies all time for a franchise with another win on Sunday.
Nick Foles becomes the 7th backup QB to start a Super Bowl. Backup QB’s have a record of 4-2 thus far; with the last Backup QB victor being none other than Tom Brady in 2002. Want to impress your friends or enrage some Eagle Fans say this “I wonder if Foles will puke all over the field like McNabb did back in 05”.
Enough with the facts; lets have some FUN! If you are anywhere near Philadelphia Super Bowl Sunday wear green and continuously scream at the top of your lungs “FLY EAGLES FLY” until you lose your voice. If you are in the City of Philadelphia for the game, you may be forced to climb greased poles (not even joking) and/or shotgun a six-pack before lunch because Eagles fans tailgate like no other.
If attending Connecticut parties; sport Patriot blue and enjoy the tea and crumpets before a wonderful butler tells you it is game time...JUST KIDDING. Patriot fans throw victory parties like no one else because all they do is WIN!!!
You will be forced to pick a team, even if you could care less what the outcome of the game is, so be ready.
My suggestion is you size up the party, figure out which team has more cheering fans, then pick that team to root for just in case a fight breaks out (You at least want to be on the winning side of that right!)
Justin Timberlake will be performing the Halftime show. This is a wonderful opportunity to take advantage of your drunk friends and make a monetary bet there is an ‘NSYNC reunion because we all know they are all getting on stage together at some point.
Bet your friends that Bud Light will have the most commercials because how can they not capitalize on “PHILLY PHILLY”.
Pink is singing the National Anthem in case anyone asks.
Now for some in game prep!
A touchdown is worth 6 points and can be scored by the offense (team with ball) or defense (team trying to stop the ball).
A kicker will kick the extra point (1 point) or field goal (3 points).
Holding penalties can happen on offense or defense and pisses everyone off. You could interject “holding takes place on every play so what could be so bad about this one” then watch the replay and moan and groan with everyone else.
Pass Interference is both good and bad! Good for the team that gets the call and has the football placed at the spot of the foul. It is bad if your team committed the penalty and gave the opposing team a 1st down on 3rd and long or 1st and goal from the 1 yard line. You could politely joke with party members “Hey all Brady has to do is throw the ball deep to Cooks or anywhere near Gronk for a penalty right”.
Off Sides takes place on Defense and False Starts are always on the Offense.
Illegal blocks in the back are called mostly on offense or Special Teams (Punting and Kicking).
Here is a fun guide of things to yell at the TV and when to use them.
Holding on Offense or Defense “ Come on; Let Them Play!”
Off Sides “Cannot give away yards; have to make them earn it”
False Start “It cannot be that hard to remember the snap count”
Pass Interference on Offense “WAIT WHAT; No seriously WHAT”
Pass Interference on Defense “ Here we go Tom Brady must have cried to the refs again” or “Well they have to keep the Eagles in the game somehow right”
LADIES AND GENTS THAT IS ALL SHE WROTE...ENJOY THE GAME, PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY, and UBER, WALK, or DD HOME!!!!!!!